GREENFIELD, Wis. — Like any industry of goods, golf courses exist on a spectrum. That’s easy to see. But the best visual of the roster of courses across America is a bell curve. Fat in the middle — defined by your typical, $100 round on a tree-lined course — and thin on either side, from Pebble Beach to pitch-n-putts.
Diametrically opposed as the thin ends of the curve may be, you rarely get to the ritzy, exclusive, architecturally brilliant far right without starting somewhere near its cheap, basic, municipal opposite — places like Zablocki Park, just southwest of Milwaukee.
Zablocki warms the heart, like most pitch-n-putts do. It’s filled with cutoff tank tops and cargo shorts. You see more Crocs than golf shoes. In the heat of summer, some players turn in the collared shirt for no shirt at all. (And no one cares to stop them!)
The 1st tee is about eight paces from the parking lot. The 3rd green is about eight paces from the center-field fence of a nearby baseball field. The nine holes range from 77 to 110 yards long. You can watch soccer matches while you wait on the 5th tee, like I did two Mondays ago. The sunset had turned pink for the six of us on property, ripping around by ourselves at a 45-minute pace. Does entry-level golf get any better?
Zablocki defines the phrase no frills. Each time I’ve played it, there wasn’t even an employee kicking around in the blue, brick shack near the 1st tee. Therein lies some of its brilliance: They don’t really need someone running it. With an honor box — and the modern equivalent: a scan-to-pay QR code — guests need not be ushered out via some doting Milwaukee County Parks staffer. You show up, you pay and then you’re off.
The price you’ll find is an offensively modest $8. Cheaper than your Subway BLT. You’re forced to wonder — how could a golf course operate on $8 greens fees? Well, the fees of its greens have become next-to-nothing.
Thanks to COVID-era federal funding, via the 2021 American Rescue Plan Act, Milwaukee County earned $22 million for one-time investments designed to improve cost-saving in the future. Part of that money was earmarked for Zablocki, due to its popularity and usage rate. It was unsurprisingly costly to maintain natural grass greens for a tiny pitch-n-putt, so the Parks Department replaced those greens and tees with synthetic turf, effectively eliminating daily maintenance costs. In an era defined by government cutbacks on municipal golf, this feels like purposeful sustenance.
A similar pitch-n-putt on the north side of Milwaukee — Noyes Park — used $1 million of the same funding on a new irrigation system, improving the course without forcing the Parks Department to increase greens fees. Fittingly, Noyes also charges just $8 per round. The funding has given Noyes a three-decade lease on life, Parks Director Jim Tarantino told Milwaukee Magazine.
For Zablocki, it may be a permanent lease. Mostly because the synthetic greens are really quite good. They’re not cheap. They’re resistant to damage. They drain better than the bathroom tub. Each green has four holes cut into them, which are rotated for use by Parks staff and otherwise filled by turf covers when not in use. They’ve got some serious firmness, but are receptive to spin. What used to be a downtrodden set of landing zones, peppered with ball marks are now a very trustworthy, challenging endeavor. Making a 3 is easier than it used to be, but making a 2 is damn difficult. Make a 1 and your name goes up on the white, paper leaderboards taped to the window at the starter shack.
“Only rule we ask is that you only play one ball, no mulligan, honor play,” the leaderboard reads. “CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR SHOT!”
Congrats indeed. When I played it, the most recent ace on the board was made by 14-year-old Christopher, who, according to the Best Score leaderboard nearby, has been getting his fill on Zablocki. Christopher aced the 1st hole, as did 8-year-old Dominic at the end of August. On the other end, 73-year-old DJ Haugh aced the 8th hole three weeks ago.
How about that for a spectrum?
