Thomas Bjorn hits a shot on Thursday on the 14th hole at Club de Campo Villa de Madrid.
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Don’t.
Touch.
Thomas.
Bjorn’s.
Driver.
Though if that’s not enough of a warning, and should you do so anyway, which apparently someone did, allow him to tell you the punishment.
Bjorn, one of the more talented players of his generation on the European Tour, and a successful Ryder Cup captain, is also creative, it seems, though diabolically so. With that in mind, we go to Twitter, which is where Bjorn went when he found the settings on his driver were manipulated ahead of Thursday’s acciona Open de Espana first round.
“To the guy who changed the settings on my driver overnight in the bag store…
“May you wake up every morning for the rest of your life with bleeding haemorrhoids.”
OK then.
Fortunately for Bjorn, he said he caught the adjustment on the range, though he shot a four-over 75, and is 12 shots out of the lead. The revelation was one of several in an informal Q&A on Twitter after his original tweet.
“Didn’t notice anything on the range?” @dlnoch wrote.
“Of course I did..” Bjorn replied. Then wrote: “Never related this to my s**t golf today”
Wrote @AlanCantrell29: “Sorry to hear that. Maybe that’s why Nelson Hogan Palmer Trevino Floyd kept their clubs with them all the time….”
“Definitely a good idea,” Bjorn responded.
Wrote @spoa22mo: “All the old timers that used to shoot in the low 60s with persimmon drivers are sure hoping you don’t blame a bad round on your “driver settings”…..”
“I didn’t blame my bad round on that…” Bjorn responded.
Wrote @DeepCaper: “Go handle it like a man with the Club and not spout off like a whiny child to the Twitterverse. This is not how people from Denmark typically resolve their problems. Very poor representation by your part” — to which Bjorn responded with four laughing emojis, to which @DeepCaper responded with three laughing emojis, to which Bjorn responded with two laughing emojis.
Wrote @JensVagland: “But of course you saw that on the range and no one leaves hom without their driver settings”
Nick Piastowski is a Senior Editor at Golf.com and Golf Magazine. In his role, he is responsible for editing, writing and developing stories across the golf space. And when he’s not writing about ways to hit the golf ball farther and straighter, the Milwaukee native is probably playing the game, hitting the ball left, right and short, and drinking a cold beer to wash away his score. You can reach out to him about any of these topics — his stories, his game or his beers — at nick.piastowski@golf.com.