101 things I saw, heard, smelled and smiled at during Masters week
Jon Rahm on Sunday on the 18th green at Augusta National after his win at the Masters.
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BACK (!) ON AN OUTDOOR PATIO AT THE TOP DAWG TAVERN, AUGUSTA, Ga. — There were three rows of them, and each was three deep. I picked the one in the center of that. All were under a heat lamp, so I went Goldilocks — the ones in the back were hot, and the ones in the front were cold, but the ones in the middle would be juuuust right.
It was warm. Its wrapper was a little loose at the top, so I tucked it back in.
I stepped about 25 yards. I paid for it. I carried it with two hands. I sat down. I smiled. I had done it. Mission accomplished
I took it out of its packaging.
I bit into it.
My first breakfast sandwich at the Masters. I remember most every detail of one of my most magical moments of this Masters week. Meaty, with sausage and bacon. Cheesy, with American cheese. Doughy, with a brioche bun. Greasy, with all of the above. Filling. The most wonderful thing to start a day at Augusta National.
The perfect way to begin this Masters reflection. Jon Rahm won, and Brooks Koepka didn’t, and Phil Mickelson somehow made a run, and Rory McIlroy didn’t. And from Monday to Sunday, I took that in, and saw, heard, smelled, smiled at a whole bunch more, and I’m now ready to reminisce about the week that was with you. We did 100 of these last year, but that’s so 2022, so let’s go for 101.
We’re back, too, at the Top Dawg Tavern along Washington Road, a half-mile from ANGC, and the ’80s and ’90s music is playing, the sun is trying to crack through, and I’m feeling it.
Vamos!
2. We had all the weather this week — 90s, 50s, sun, clouds, wind, rain — and some stories to go with it. A security guard told me that the nearby Savannah River stops about half the rain that makes its way to Augusta.
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3. It didn’t work Saturday. It was ugly. When play was stopped in the early afternoon, I watched the scene. I didn’t see much — most of the patrons had filed out — but smelled something … church-y. The house to the right of the members pro shop was burning wood — I think — and it had a distinct incense smell.
4. I joked with a worker that all Fred Ridley had to do was press a button and the dome would cover Augusta National. She said that was coming and laughed. Hmm.
5. The cleanup after Saturday’s rain was spectacular. On Sunday morning, there was nary a puddle. The vaunted SubAir system went to work, as likely did a small army of workers.
6. Let’s talk Rahm, the winner. He has every weapon. He wants to beat dudes. He’s a closer. He’s … Koepka. (More on him in a minute.) But here’s saying Rahm’s more skilled.
7. How can you not think he does this again at the PGA and the U.S. Open, brawny tournaments where his game plays even better?
8. I had a thought last night: With Rahm, McIlroy (more on him, too) and Scottie Scheffler playing their best golf, and a host of other all-stars close behind, I wondered when’s the next time we’ll get an underdog winner. (I still don’t really know how to classify Mickelson’s win at the 2021 PGA, and we’ll soon get to Lefty here, too.)
9. Is it me or does Rahm miss more than the average good golfer? The odd shanks. The weird drive on 18.
10. Is it me or does Rahm miss every putt — when he does miss — by inches? If there’s a stat somewhere out that tracks length left after a missed putt, I’d love to see it, though Rahm has to be leading.
11. I knew Koepka would do this. I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. I love it, too — no, not that I was right, but that’s nice, too — but it’s all a bit of a mind game to him. Brooks is hurt. Brooks thinks he can’t do it anymore. Brooks is playing lower-level golf. Logs on his personal fire. He’ll be back in the mix at the PGA and U.S. Open, too.
12. But next year could be his last Masters. Stinks, don’t it?
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13. The Official World Golf Ranking should eventually award LIV Golf points for its tournaments, but they won’t get many — you’re playing the same golfers every tournament, across fewer holes — and the result is depressing: The days of getting together the best players could be numbered. The fans lose. Blame whom you will.
14. I tried to touch on some of this in a Sunday piece. The Masters wasn’t so much a showdown, as it was a confirmation that our golf is forever changed. We knew LIV players would contend. We knew the PGA Tour would be concerned. We knew there would be some awkwardness. And I think that’s the way this is going to be for a while.
15. But it sounds like the only thing hot at the Champions Dinner — where six LIV Masters winners sat at the table — was the soup. GOLF’s Alan Bastable tracked it all down here.
16. Speaking of food, this video of GOLF’s Claire Rogers and Brooks Koepka’s wife, Jena, outside of an Augusta ice cream shop is very fun.
17. One more Koepka-LIV thought. This may be one of the most layered quotes I’ve heard in a while. On Friday, he admitted that he may not have joined LIV had he thought he was 100 percent healthy. Here is the complete exchange:
“If you had been as healthy as you are right now, would the LIV decision been more challenging?”
“Honestly, yeah, probably, if I’m being completely honest. I think it would have been,” Koepka said. “But I’m happy with the decision I made.”
18. OK, one other Koepka thing. Yes, his caddie, Ricky Elliott, mouthed “five” when Gary Woodland’s caddie, Thomas Little, walked in front of him; and yes, Koepka, flashed five fingers; and yes, Koepka brushed it all off — so Brooks is back.
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19. Let’s talk Mickelson. Was this more surprising than the PGA win? What if he would have won on Sunday?
20. A patron asked me on Saturday how Mickelson would be remembered. I flipped the question on him — I’ve always been more interested in what others think than spouting off mindless takes — and he made his case for the side of Phil, the engaging champion. Can’t argue that. Can’t dispute Phil, the golf divider, either, though. We all have our layers, but those are some sides, aren’t they?
21. Michael Bamberger, the dean of the golf beat, saw my gray wedding ring and said that Mickelson has the same one.
22. As much as Mickelson was a surprise, McIlroy was a flop. Golf is hard. But 72 and 77? Augusta National has brought property in this town for years — and it owns most of McIlroy’s head.
23. I even gave him a shot on Tuesday to say definitively that this would be the week.
“Why would this week be different compared to previous years for you?”
“Why would this week … ” McIlroy asked.
“Be different for you compared to previous years.”
“I don’t know. Did I say that? I mean …”
“Could it be?”
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“Could it be? Hopefully. Yeah, I mean, as I said, I feel like I’ve got all the ingredients. It’s just about putting them all together over the next four days.”
OK then.
24. Let’s talk Tiger Woods. He made the cut. And that’s impressive. A woman I talked with made this point: Tiger, full of injuries, is still better than some of the best players in the world — and speaks to how great his game is, along with making you wonder what could have been had his body not failed him.
25. Does Woods want to play looking so frail? Do we want to see him this way?
26. Jordan Spieth is close. He’ll be my Open Championship pick.
27. Sam Bennett is going to be a star.
28. The Masters marker is a bit of a celebrity — one is used when there’s an odd number of players — and GOLF’s Sean Zak wonderfully profiled the newest one, Michael McDermott, here.
29. You won’t find a better wrap-up of the final round than this, by GOLF’s Dylan Dethier.
30. You won’t find a better wrap-up of the final round of the Augusta National Womens’ Amateur than this, by GOLF’s Zephyr Melton.
31. The Freshmen from the Verve Pipe is playing at the Top Dawg.
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32. If you’ve somehow stumbled onto my stories before, you’ll know I’m a beer guy, and I’m taking breaks here with some treats. First up is the Augusta Peach from Sibling Revelry Brewing. Fitting.
33. Masters sandwich ratings time! No. 1 is the breakfast sandwich. No. 2 is the club sandwich. My ratings are influenced by meat — you get more with the club. I like the hamburger bun touch with it, too. It’s comfort food.
34. Barbecue sandwich. The sauce is not overpowering, but solid. (Full disclosure: I really like all barbecue, so I may be the wrong person to review here.) You get a good amount of meat. Just wish it was a little bigger — it’s slider size.
35. Chicken sandwich. A little bit of heat. Not bad.
36. Pimento. Though it’s practically associated with the tournament, there’s some polarization here — some folks give the pimento a meh. On that note, I’ve dropped it in the middle of the ratings. It’s got some kick too, but just a bit too much mayo.
37. Sausage biscuit. Oh, this could be king. The biscuit is lovely. The sausage is hot. Just a little too greasy.
38. Ham and cheese on rye. I usually don’t like rye bread. But this hit the spot. It’s a little beefier, and, again, we like that.
39. Chicken biscuit. The chicken is a little chewy.
40. Chicken salad. It’s lacking some flavor.
41. Egg salad. Same as above.
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42. OK, this is sad. I didn’t have the Georgia peach ice cream sandwich. The ratings are tainted, yes.
43. I did this exercise last year, and things have changed a bit. I went with barbecue No. 1, followed by chicken salad, sausage biscuit, pimento cheese, chicken biscuit, chicken sandwich, club, ham on rye, hot dog and egg salad. Quite the drop for the chicken salad!
44. Yes, my stomach is soft at the end of this week.
45. Speaking of food, the background of the Champions Dinner’s favorite snack, written by GOLF’s James Colgan, is very much worth your time.
46. More food talk! I love to ask the cashiers for their biggest orders of the week — and I found out on Wednesday that there is a competition among them.
47. So who had the highest? Someone had rung up $700 …
Of just peanuts.
“They needed some help getting those out of here,” a cashier said, laughing.
48. At the concession stand near the 8 tee, someone had rung up an order of just 90 moon pies.
49. Another clerk told me that someone bought $70 worth of sandwiches — only to take them all to their car, drop them in a cooler and drive away.
50. On Friday morning, I dropped into the patron gift shop and asked the same question to my cashier as I had to the food clerks:
What was the most they had rung up?
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“$17,000, over eight bags. But I try not to look at the total because I have a bad poker face.”
51. One member of our GOLF.com team heard that someone had bought …
$120,000 worth of merch.
52. I dropped $250 — for two shirts for my 14-year-old nephew, a desk putter for my wife, and a coffee cup and bag tag for me.
53. It’s cool that Augusta National is committing time and money to Augusta Muni and the First Tee program.
54. It’s discouraging that Augusta National chairman Fred Ridley, when asked Wednesday about sportswashing in response to LIV Golf participation at the Masters, said he did not fully know what sportswashing was.
“As relates to your comment about sportswashing,” he said, “I certainly have a general understanding of the term. I think, you know, it’s for others to decide exactly what that means.”
55. I’m Still Standing by Elton John is playing at the Top Dawg.
56. Beer 2! Chance by Wild Leap Brew Co. Smooth.
57. Hole comments! I’m not an architecture geek. Nor am I a good golfer; I’m about a 14-handicap. But here are some very random thoughts on Augusta’s 18, from the average Average Joe perspective. On No. 1, Augusta’s elevation changes and green contours hit you from the get-go — from the tee, the opening hole goes down, then up, and the green is wavy.
58. No. 2. Back down the slope. It played as the easiest hole this year.
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59. No. 3. Back up the slope. I won’t forget hearing Scheffler’s chip-in here last year. I was standing on 4 tee.
60. No. 4. I saw my first “movie crew” sign here. Netflix is working on Full Swing season two.
61. I called my wife before I got to No. 5. It’s true. You can’t bring your cell on the grounds, but banks of free-to-use phones scattered throughout the course keep you connected. The number pops up with an Augusta area code.
62. No. 5. Don’t go left off the tee. On Wednesday afternoon, there was also a distinct grill smell — I think it was steaks — but there’s no concession stand in sight. Hmm.
63. No. 6. Down the hill. On Wednesday, near the green, I heard birds chirping. Of course, this normally wouldn’t move the needle, unless you’re at Augusta National, where some folks believe the course is somehow devoid of our winged friends — and that the chirping is manufactured.
I overheard this patron conversation:
“Is that chirping real?”
“It’s a little too persistent.”
64. No. 7. Up a slope. If playing, I would find one of the five greenside bunkers. On Wednesday afternoon, I smelled paint to the right of the fairway. Hmm.
65. No. 8. The second shot, because of a mound, is completely blind.
66. No. 9. The best shot-blocker in sports? The slope in front of the green here.
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67. No. 10. The elevation will forever amaze; there’s a drop from tee to green. The bunker just short of the green on the right side always confuses; outside of a mishit, players won’t find it.
68. No. 11. On Tuesday, I followed Bernhard Langer on the second nine. He’s 65. I’m 45. I run 6 miles four times a week. We walked up the hill to 11 tee together — and he beat me up, and I was short of breath at the end. Yes, this is a comment on me and Bernhard.
69. No. 12. I keep thinking how I would play this hole. Maybe bail long and left. Of course, then it may get stuck in a bush. You have to hit your golf ball here.
70. No. 13. The tee box was moved back 35 yards, and you have to work your way up the fairway to see players teeing off. It’s back there. The tree-lined window immediately off the tee is choking.
71. No. 14. I still think one of the coolest spots on the course to watch the golf is behind the No. 14 tee. If you can get there early, there aren’t many patrons, you can have a clear view of the tee shots, and you can see shots into 13 green.
72. No. 15. I was stunned when Rose Zhang, protecting a two-shot lead, went for the green here in two during the Augusta National Women’s Amateur. But we can appreciate the moxie.
73. On Tuesday, Si Woo Kim’s caddie, Manuel Villegas (brother of pro Camilo), was taking pictures of 15 with his cellphone. “Can I have the cell,” a patron asked.
74. Patrons cheering for pros to skip tee shots across the water on No. 16 during practice rounds is a blast — but which pro gives this a shot during the tournament? First one to do it gets a spot in this prestigious space.
75. No. 17. Near the green, there’s a sprinkler head that measures 36 yards. That’s exact.
76. No. 18. The window off the tee is claustrophobic.
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77. I’m forever stunned that Augusta National has no rough. One of the greatest courses in the world lacks one of the game’s defenses.
78. Tree talk. I imagine I was like you and couldn’t help trying to find more angles of the incident on 17 tee. How it struck no one is incredible. Wild. I was on 18 green when it happened and first heard about it later.
79. It was all completely cleaned up by Saturday. You would have to imagine every tree was tested overnight, too. Still, you can only do so much. We know the risk in going to a park.
80. On a lighter tree note, GOLF’s Josh Berhow wrote a wonderful piece on the big oak, Augusta’s meeting spot.
81. On Wednesday afternoon, workers were rappelling up the oak to install some sort of cages — I think they were lights — and all of it was getting more attention than some players.
82. Don’t You (Forget About Me) by Simple Minds is playing at the Top Dawg.
83. Beer 3! Blind Pirate from Monday Night Brewing. Hoppy!
84. Random patron conversation time! Notably, folks come here and just walk the course — pros or no pros. They take it all in.
85. I didn’t see many celebs, but I did spot retired NFL player Larry Fitzgerald.
86. I met two buddies from New Jersey who said they went around and had their picture taken in front of every hole. They said it took them three-and-a-half hours.
87. Fantasy golf is everywhere here. I overheard: “Club selection is everything. It’s either this way …” — and he continued his breakdown.
88. I saw a man with a large hat shaped like a green, who then said this: “I’m married, but I don’t know why I keep getting introduced to.” He was also holding two beers.
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89. I overheard this: “Was that the movie with Shia LaBeouf? No, no, Louis CK!” I have no idea what movie that could be.
90. On Friday, as Patrick Reed was about to hit his second shot on 18 from up against a tree root, a baby about 50 yards away cried. Reed cracked that he felt the same way.
91. I overheard this LIV Golf explanation: “There’s like a team aspect. But I haven’t bothered to learn more.”
92. I never saw LIV Golf apparel, but I did hear one patron shout to Talor Gooch: “Go Goats.” Gooch plays for the Range Goats.
93. On Friday, as I was standing near the clubhouse, a man walked straight into the metal chain that separates the course from the clubhouse grounds, fell over, got up and started walking again. A security guard stopped him, though at first he was stunned.
“First time in nine years of working here I’ve seen that,” the guard said.
94. Sandy Lyle’s final hole at his final Masters took two days — and featured a thoughtful gesture, a delay, three conversations with officials, the use of the word chicken s**t, some tequila, another complaint and finally a send-off. Whew. I watched it all. Let’s start from the top. On the 18th tee, playing partner Jason Kokrak yielded his honors to Lyle, tapping the Scotsman on the chest and saying to him: “It’s yours.”
Lyle was moved.
“That was a nice touch,” he said. “I would say the boys, you know, not from my era, they’re only in their 30s. But they were very good. Well knowledgeable. They said, well, we’ll give you the honor up the 18th, which was quite nice. And you feel a bit blah at the time. I was hoping I can hit the damn fairway, because my drive at 17 was not worth mentioning about, I tell you. It went along the driver. So I kind of semi-topped it or skulled it trying to get the ball up to get the carry and I must have stayed behind it too much and caught it off the bottom of the club. So it wasn’t very pretty.
“But at least the one on the 18th, I teed it a bit higher this time and got away with it.”
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Lyle found the fairway, hit his second shot to the right of the green, then pitched just to the left of the green and about 12 feet from the hole.
95. And then the weather horn blew, after the tree fell on 17. An official approached Lyle, Kokrak and Gooch, the other member of the threesome, to explain next steps.
96. The players made their case for Lyle to continue — he had 12 feet to go, there were hundreds of patrons circling the green and this would be his moment. Nope. Kokrak made an extra plea to the official. Nope. Kokrak then talked with another official, near the scoring house. Nope.
97. Here, I asked Kokrak for a word. And I got a few.
What did he tell the second official?
“I said, ‘It’s chicken s**t.”
How did the last two days go with Lyle?
“I played a practice round with Larry Mize, I think, two years ago. That was a really cool experience. And the last two days walking the golf course, ended up he doesn’t have his best stuff, but I really wish he would have gotten to finish in front of the patrons and his family and now — I mean, hopefully they’ll — I mean, tomorrow doesn’t look any better, butI I really hoped that it was a different circumstance. I feel bad for him and his family. He’s still standing right there. And I think it’s absolutely chicken s**t that they wouldn’t grant a special exemption because they weren’t going to blow the horn except — I mean, I understand that there was a freak accident — trees going down. Thankfully, nobody got hurt. I think that should have been something that could have been something understood by anybody under the umbrella of Augusta National and the rules committee.”
98. How did Lyle spend the night, knowing he had one or two shots left in his Masters career?
“A lot of tequila and a bit of whisky tasting at about 1 o’clock this morning.”
99. Everyone came back at 8 a.m. — except the patrons. They were held back for a few minutes, and only about 50 people saw Lyle finish his Masters run. Kokrak ripped that decision, too.
“To not have the patrons let in at 8 o’clock to be around that green is — [Kokrak laughed here] — damn near unforgivable,” he told GOLF.com and two other reporters. “I think it’s the most ridiculous thing.”
100. Lyle eventually got his moment. Mize was also playing his final Masters. So, after a quick radio interview, Lyle worked his way back to 18, waited for Mize to finish and walked down to the 18th green when he was done — and hugged him.
“The wives suggested it and I thought about it and said, yeah, I’m going to go back out there and welcome him to a new era,” Lyle said.
101. We’ll end with this.
The Top Dawg is close to the street, and throughout the day, various folks have walked by. One asked for a phone charge, but mine didn’t fit his model. We talked. He asked if I was in town for the Masters. We talked some sports. He said he’d been homeless for a while, but at one point lived in Washington state and was a fan of the Mariners and Seahawks. Tacoma was somewhere I should go, he said. He asked if I had money. I had just a couple of bucks and gave it to him.
We’re damn lucky to be writing and reading about golf, guys.
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