The San Diego Padres and Callaway have turned Petco Park into a nine-hole par-3 course called the Links at Petco Park, open Nov. 4-9. Greens fee: $50. Fun idea, and it got us thinking: What other parks, monuments and attractions could be converted into must-play courses? Here are 10 that came to mind.
1. LAMBEAU FIELD
Upside: Clay Matthews’ hair a reliable indicator of wind direction.
Downside: Wind direction? Wind chill would leave most golfers crying for their mommies. Also, have you ever tried hitting a 3-iron off frozen tundra?
2. FENWAY PARK
Upside: Iconic “CITGO” sign beyond left field wall easily replaced by “EZ-GO” sign.
Downside: Tiger’s stinger would never clear the Green Monster.
3. CHURCHILL DOWNS
Upside: Yardages far more fun when converted to furlongs.
Downside: Too many “horses for courses” jokes.
Upside: Strawberries & cream, plus sweet memories of Rory & Caroline, Sergio & Martina, Greg & Chrissy.
Downside: After a fortnight, grass-strapped Centre Court makes Chambers Bay greens look lush.
5. WHITE HOUSE LAWN
Upside: President Obama certain to be on board for any day but Easter.
Downside: Mike Huckabee and Donald Trump live-tweeting your round.
6. DODGERS STADIUM
Upside: Announcer Vin Scully and his dulcet tones announcing you on the first tee.
Downside: Deranged baserunner Chase Utley barreling into your foursome.
7. KAUFFMAN STADIUM (KANSAS CITY)
Upside: Royals’ World Series title afterglow pretty much everywhere you look.
Downside: Rookie Tour winner Smylie Kaufman keeps insisting the place is spelled wrong.
8. MALL OF AMERICA
Upside: Cinnabon, Orange Julius—the restaurant infrastructure is already in place.
Downside: Foot Locker “refs” blowing whistles to allege arcane rules infractions.
9. ELLIS ISLAND
Upside: Totally inclusive membership policy.
Downside: Big, green lady in fairway even slower than Paddy Harrington.
Upside: Quidditch infrastructure already features plenty of bleachers for spectating.
Downside: Annoying playing partner keeps referring to golf ball as “Philosopher’s Stone.”