2024 Turkey Awards: 7 regrettable moments from the year in golf

With Thanksgiving officially here, tradition calls for the U.S. president to pardon a turkey. But in this space, we make light of them — with a season-ending retrospective, singling out the most memorable goofs and gaffes from the past year in golf. Let’s hand out our annual Turkey Awards.

The Barney Fife Award for Overly Exuberant Policing

Winners: Officers, Louisville Metropolitan PD

If you can’t beat ‘em, book ‘em. Of all the unexpected sporting images of 2024, none was more surprising than the sight of the famously goodie-two-shoes Scottie Scheffler in an orange jailhouse jumper. The mugshot came courtesy of Louisville Metro PD, whose offers arrested the World No. 1 as he tried to drive around an early morning bottleneck outside Valhalla Golf Club before the second round of the PGA Championship. In fairness to the cops, the scene was chaotic: dark, rainy, traffic-congested. But the charges slapped on Scheffler, including second-degree assault of a police officer and third-degree criminal mischief, smacked of keystone excess from the start. Scheffler made his tee time — and the cut — but how he might have fared in the event without that Friday distraction became a big “What if?” for a golfer in the midst of a historically hot run. In a development far less shocking than the initial incident, the charges against Scheffler were soon dropped.

The Susie Essman Award for Working Blue in the Booth

Winner: Morgan Pressel

Almost without exception, golf broadcasts are family-friendly. No wonder the fuss over Morgan Pressel when the NBC/Golf Channel analyst veered into R-rated material during live coverage of women’s Olympic Golf. Swept up in the moment while describing Brooke Henderson’s aggressive play, Pressel exulted: “She’s f—ing fired up. You love to see it.” Though we won’t clutch our pearls and pretend we were offended — mostly, it was funny, and, hey, sh-t happens, right? — we were irked the following day when Pressel offered a mealy-mouthed mea culpa that bordered on gaslighting. “I stumbled over my words and unfortunately it sounded as if I said something inappropriate and I am so sorry that it came across as such because I would never say that on the air in a broadcast.” Um, but you did.

The Broken Ray-Ban Award for Bad Optics

Winner: Matt Kuchar

Of the 156 players who entered the 2024 Wyndham Championship, some missed the cut and some made the weekend but only one played on till Monday. That was Matt Kuchar, who, in waning light on Sunday evening, opted to mark his ball on the long par-4 18th after driving it in the rough, rather than finishing out his final hole. Though Kuchar claimed his aim was altruistic — he said he thought it would benefit his playing partner, Max Greyserman, to stop and that he wanted to “make it easy” on Greyersman to do so — his stated rationale raised eyebrows among skeptics who felt that Kuchar was just out for a higher-paying finish that would barely be a pittance for a man with $58 million in career earnings. Whatever the motive, the move meant that tournament officials and volunteers had to stick around an extra day so that a single golfer could complete play. Seen through any lens, it was a selfish look.

The ‘Dewey Defeats Truman’ Award for Premature Celebration

Winner: Si Woo Kim

After jarring an improbable chip shot during Saturday foursomes at the Presidents Cup, Si Woo Kim bolted across the green with his hands pressed to his cheek, mimicking Steph Curry’s famous “night night” gesture. It was a cool impression, with just one catch: the match was tied. Two holes later, Americans Patrick Cantlay and Xander Schauffele put Kim and his partner, Tom Kim, to bed with an alternate-shot birdie on 18, earning a full point for Team USA. Lights out, everyone.

The Tom Hanks Castaway Award for Stranding Travelers

Winner: LPGA Tour

As the 19th Solheim Cup got underway at Robert Trent Jones Golf Club, in Virginia, the grandstands around the first tee were half empty, but not for lack of interest. A shuttle bus snafu had left throngs of would-be spectators stranded in the parking lot five miles away. Come evening, the LPGA Tour issued an apology to fans — and wound up offering free tickets for the weekend. But there was no undoing the bad start to a marquee women’s event. It was also too late to quiet critics who felt the tour had slow-rolled communications surrounding the transportation snag.

The Soccer Hooligan Award for Embarrassing Atmospherics

Winner: WM Phoenix Open

Conditions were sloppy and so were the fans at the 2024 edition of a tournament that could have been rebranded the Wasted Management Phoenix Open. Large crowds, crowded walkways, muddy grounds and alcohol were the key ingredients in a volatile cocktail that gave rise to unprecedented numbers of arrests and hospitalizations, along with ugly exchanges between spectators and players. When all was said and done, tournament organizers took a sober months-long look at the event and decided that the Greatest Show on Turf would need to be dialed back in years ahead by tweaking policies on ticket sales, traffic flow and booze.

The Benjamin Button While We’re Young Award for Wasting Time

Winners: Tony Finau and Alejandro Tosti

On the fourth green, during the third round of the Texas Children’s Houston Open, Tony Finau and Alejandro Tosti both landed their balls 38 feet, 8 inches from the cup. But neither man was willing to budge a millimeter; each thought the other was away. Under the Rules of Golf, such matters are meant to be decided “by agreement or by using a random method.” The method Finau and Tosti chose was passive-aggressive argumentation, punctuated by gestures of frustration. Though broadcast mics failed to pick up their exchanges, the visuals told a story of a pair of displeased players, each surely wanting to have the advantage of watching the other guy putt first. On it went like this for 3 minutes, 23 seconds before action resumed. Tosti wound up putting first. Turns out order didn’t matter. Both players missed. Each made par, so they hadn’t dropped a stroke. But the rest of us had lost precious moments from our lives.