Texts from Tiger, an epic shank and golf’s outrageous Valentine’s Day | Rogers Report

Hello friends, and happy Thursday from Riviera! The GOLF squad enjoyed a delicious Korean BBQ dinner on Wednesday night thanks to Tom Kim’s recommendation. I had never had Korean barbeque before (I grew up in a household of very unadventurous eaters due to my siblings’ food allergies), and I absolutely adored it. Tom’s recommendation for our team, Chosun Galbee, was so good. A special thanks to my co-worker and pal James Colgan for not only seeking out the best restaurants while we’re on the road, but also for knowing exactly what to order when we get there.

We stopped by (read: endeavored on a Claire Rogers-forced detour to) Salt & Straw for ice cream on the way home. I ordered the salted, malted cookie dough in a waffle cone. I’ve heard wonderful things about Salt & Straw over the years, so I had to try it out. I recommend it, but plan on waiting in a very long line!

Valentine’s Day

A handful of the pros shared posts about their better halves on Valentine’s Day yesterday, and I did my very best to include all the ones I saw in this segment. My apologies go out to the Homa family, because I failed to screenshot the Instagram story Max posted for Lacey on Wednesday. But the post was there, and that’s what really matters when it comes to showing off your significant other on February 14.

As for posts I did remember to screenshot, we’ll kick off with Dustin Johnson, who knocked his Valentine’s Day gifts out of the park. His first act of the big day was an Instagram post dedicated to Paulina (and filled with what I’m guessing are Paulina-approved photos).

Then, on Paulina’s story, we got a glimpse of the main event.

Sure, it’s extremely unlikely, but I’d like to imagine that DJ laid all of those rose petals out himself.

Next up we have Tony Finau, who seems to have redeemed himself after his Valentine’s blunder earlier in the week.

It looks like he asked his wife, Layna, to be his Valentine after all.

Extra points for the creative caption.

And finally, we have Jena Sims and Brooks Koepka, who shared the realities of their first Valentine’s Day as parents. Dinner on one side of the table, the baby monitor on the other.

Tiger’s round

I decided to do things a little differently today and spruced up my typical viewing schedule, bouncing back and forth between the Tiger, Justin Thomas and Gary Woodland group and the Jordan Spieth, Tom Kim and Patrick Cantlay group. They were in back-to-back groups, so it was pretty easy to follow both rounds, and I ended up saving myself a lot of steps as well. Talk about a win-win!

A friendly public service announcement for all of my loyal readers: I highly recommend staying about half a hole ahead of the group you want to follow. This way, you can be the first one by the next hole’s tee box and secure the best view possible.

As I made my way down the third fairway, I noticed two notable people inside the ropes: Scottie Scheffler’s parents!

It never occurred to me that an underrated perk of raising a professional golfer would be getting inside the ropes access to watch Tiger Woods play. This comes less than we week after Scottie Scheffler’s dad went out to follow Nicolo Galletti at TPC Scottsdale.

A genius move by Mr. Scheffler. I won’t say having your child be a professional athlete is a “life hack,” but it does seem to come with a handful of perks.

Next up we have a tale as old as time. On the par-3 16th, Tiger and Gary Woodland took a little look inside JT’s bag to see which club he was hitting.

Whenever I see the pros doing this, I immediately think of the times I’ve done non-golf versions of this, like checking my friends’ math homework to make sure I’m on the right track or waiting for other people to stand up during mass just to make sure I wouldn’t do it at the wrong time. Nothing wrong with getting a little confirmation that you’re doing the right thing, but it still makes me chuckle that people do it at the highest level.

Speaking of things that happen at the highest level of the game, let’s discuss the shank that Tiger Woods hit on the 18th hole today.

I mean it when I say this might be the most shocked I’ve ever been by a golf shot. Tiger Woods?! Hitting a shank?!?!? Unheard of!

I do love that Tiger explained what happened in very scientific terms. Instead of just saying he hit it off the hosel, he used lawyer jargon to explain that he “presented hosel first.”

Texts from Tiger

Ninety-nine percent of the world will never receive a text from Tiger Woods, but the PGA Tour was smart enough to ask those who have. And the responses were great. Here’s what the pros had to say.

Jordan Spieth: “Typically, if you look down and you see it says Tiger Woods, it’s kind of the first one that you open.” This makes sense.

Jason Day: “Tiger’s a funny one. Sometimes it could be like, ‘Hey man, like great f-ing job,’ or, and I’m being very blunt with you here, it would be like, ‘What the f did you do on that hole?’ … and I’m like sitting there and I’m like, ‘dude I’m trying to play my best. I didn’t mean to hit it in the trees,’ you know what I mean? And then, like, typically after that, I sit there and ask him questions after, you know, because I feel like it’s an open invitation to go, ‘Hey, what would you do in that situation?'”

Rickie Fowler: “Tiger doesn’t really sugarcoat anything. He’s going to tell you how it is, whether you play poorly or you play well.”

Max Homa: “I still think it’s the competitor. He likes jabbing at you and always says something to make you feel bad. … I mean, I used to chase him around golf courses trying to get an autograph, and now I’ve got his phone number. It’s just weird.” The perfect answer from Homa. It must be so, so strange to exchange phone numbers with your childhood hero. What a life!

Justin Thomas: “At the end of 2017, my best season on Tour, won five times. I just finished winning the FedEx Cup, won a major and one of the first texts I had when I was done was Tiger, and it was ‘Congrats, now do that nine more times and that’s what I’ve done in my career.”

Xander Schauffele: “We needle each other a lot. I don’t think he’s very good. I think he’s lost touch a little bit. He’s a little bit older now, and I think he’s a little bit out of the loop on sort of what’s cool now for younger guys, but I like to needle him a bunch.” If it’s not clear, Schauffele was needling Tiger here.

Tony Finau: “I remember one year I was playing Bay Hill, I texted him, asked him about how he approached the golf course with so much success? You’d be surprised the lengths that he’ll go to send you a text back and say, ‘This is what I was thinking, this is what I did, and this is how I feel like you should execute that.’ … I don’t think in my wildest dreams I would’ve ever imagined being a text or phone call away from Tiger, so it’s pretty cool.” Tiger, I personally think you’d love voice messages. They allow you to really get into the weeds of what you’re trying to say instead of being confined to a text!

Davis Love III: “The text was, ‘Can you call me?’ And I said ‘Yeah, I’ll call you later,’ and he goes, ‘No. Now.”‘And that was when he told me I was going to be the Presidents Cup captain. So, you never know when it’s going to come and you never know what it’s going to be, but you dang sure better answer if Tiger texts you.” Good to know. I’ll do my best to get back to him if I’m ever in this situation.

While we did get some answers here, I’m still left with a lot of questions. Does Tiger use emojis? Has he had to increase the text size on his phone like many other adults in their late 40s? Does he send one long text, or is he annoying like me and prefers to send 15 short texts in rapid-fire succession?

The homes at Riviera

As much as I love looking at the stunning golf course this week, I might love looking at the homes above it even more.

You just don’t see these sorts of cribs in South Boston, folks!