These horror stories of future pros crushing junior golfers are a must-read

A thread was floating around the internet the other day under this intro: “Nothing makes me happier than stories of normal people having to deal with mutant athletes in high school.”

Now, golf is somewhat different than, say, football in that size does not directly equate to dominance. Still, I was immediately intrigued. There are legends everywhere about golf’s closest equivalents to “mutant athletes” — future pros — doing things you couldn’t believe while still in high school. I put the call out to the world. “Okay,” I asked. “Who’s got the best stories of getting jammed on by future Tour pros playing junior golf?”

okay, who's got the best stories of getting jammed on by future Tour pros playing junior golf?! https://t.co/gl8DeWddtS

— Dylan Dethier (@dylan_dethier) November 21, 2019

I wasn’t sure if anyone would respond, but once the stories started trickling in they were too good not to share — bite-sized encapsulations of the differences between Tour pros and everybody else. Here are ten of my favorites (and remember, it’s not too late to chime in with your own!):

1. Harold Varner and the Halloween party

Apathy is commonplace at college golf tournaments, but usually because of a lack of skill rather than a surplus.

Watched @HV3_Golf dominate Old Dominions tournament by about 10 shots. It was right before Halloween and he just kept saying how he couldn’t wait to get back to ECU to party

— Zamboni Jones (@_smiit) November 21, 2019

2. Bill Haas kicks aas

It’s one thing to hear about Tiger Woods as a junior, but hearing about Bill Haas’ younger conquests serves as a reminder just how good all of these guys are — not just the uppermost crust.

first college tournament I played in my teammate Bill Haas won shooting 63 63 66. He beat me by 50 strokes

— Matt McLean (@MattMcLeanGolf) November 21, 2019

3. Morgan Hoffmann — not just a nice guy! (But also, a nice guy)

One of the best parts of high school golf is delusions of grandeur keeping up with some young stud through a round’s early stages before the inevitable collapse comes.

We had all heard he was basically good enough to play professionally and I think he was only a freshman. But damn it was crazy to see in person this 14-15 year old hammering the all like a man. Couldn’t have been a nicer guy either. Always root hard whenever he’s in the mix.

— Dylon Silversey (@DSilverseyPGA) November 21, 2019

I was tied with Morgan Hoffman through 15 holes of of a HS tournament. He played the last 3 in 5 under. Needless to say I did not

— Jason stall (@Etsman2) November 21, 2019

4. Playing your best and losing by… 27

It’s not just that Xander Schauffele is incredibly good at golf — it’s also that he’s just much, much better than you.

Played college golf in the PA. Didn’t swing a club for the winter months. Played a practice round and 3 competitive rounds for a 232 total (~77 avg which felt amazing for not playing for 4 months). Lost to Xander by 27 strokes

— Mr. 302 (@TJSummers21) November 21, 2019

5. Laying waste to the field, conditions be damned

One of my favorite subgenres here is tournaments played in heinous weather only to have the best players separate themselves that much more from the field, like Doug LaBelle in Michigan.

Shoutout to the O.G. Michigan HS state tournament conditions. These kids playing in the spring nowadays have no clue.

— Jack Garswood (@jackgarswood) November 21, 2019

6. Anthony Kim, middle school legend

When it comes to the legend of Anthony Kim, we’ll take whatever we can get. Hearing that he was pounding it past high school seniors while still in middle school? Yeah, that checks out.

Played with the man the myth the legend, Anthony Kim. I was going into my senior year he was going into 8th, I was 5’10 him like 5’3 hit it 25 yards by me, shot 3 rounds in the 60’s won’t by 3-4, were multiple PGA wins, a major and a players championship int he field, that I know

— art vandalay (@bobos_bar) November 21, 2019

7. When your best just isn’t even close to good enough

Brian Harman, world-beater and soul-crusher.

Sr. year in HS. Shot one off tourney record and lost by 7 to @harmanbrian

— Rob Varner (@rob_varner) November 21, 2019

8. You want more Brian Harman? Here’s more Brian Harman!

I’m paired with Harman (Then #1 Jr.) in ‘04 high school state tourney and he’d fired 9-under 63 in prac. rnd. The day b4 at Meadow Lakes in Cedartown, Ga. backs it up the next day with 8-under 64 in the tourney. He wins Indy by 6 and his team wins by 8. I was 4th & only 10 back!

— Jarod Trammell (@JarodTrammell) November 22, 2019

https://twitter.com/jhmatthews4/status/1197549908842205184?s=20

9. That’s a lot of sixes.

66-66-66 — as a 16-year-old? That’s why he’s the European Tour Rookie of the Year and I’m tweeting about it.

With rounds of 72 and 82 at a Scottish Boys Champ, I was 22 shots behind leader Bob Macintyre who shot a pair of 66’s. Both of those rounds tied Sergio Garcia’s course record. We were 16.
In the third and final round, he shot another 66.

— Calum (@C_McAndrew95) November 21, 2019

10. One final reminder: Your best is not nearly good enough.

Freshman year of high school, I played in a foursome with Patrick Rodgers, Adam Schenk, and PGA Latino tour member David Mills. I played as good as I could’ve at the time, shot 76. Got last in the group by 10 shots. Rodgers 63, Schenk 65, Mills 66

— Lwel21 (@Lwel21) November 21, 2019

And remember — we’re still taking submissions.