The post Is it okay to curse on the golf course? The Etiquetteist has choice words appeared first on Golf.

The post Is it okay to curse on the golf course? The Etiquetteist has choice words appeared first on Golf.

Jack from Santa Barbara writes: I have a friend who curses pretty regularly on the course; it helps him blow off steam. The other day, we were paired with someone who was clearly offended. Should my pal dial it back?

Whoever said profanity is a failure of the imagination never gave much thought to all the playful ways there are to curse. This is true both on and off the course. The Etiquetteist has been known to use the f-word here and there, and not just fore. The other one. It can come in handy when a putt lips out or a drive banks off a tree into the drink.

Which is to say: The impulse to swear is understandable.

Whether such lingo is socially acceptable is another matter. And as with most things golf, it depends — on the company and the context. The rules around speaking like a sailor on the course are pretty much the same as they are in life: not in front the kids, the boss, the babysitter or almost anyone you’ve just met. Save it for your buddies who know that when you say, “Oh, for f—’s sake,” you’re aiming it at yourself, not them.

Self-directed swearing can even be amusing. A golfer muttering, “Nice shot, you [bleeping] genius,” after blading one into a bunker is really just poking fun at their own folly. But when the language turns outward — when someone barks, “Don’t talk to my f—ing ball!” — the dynamic shifts. That’s not humor; that’s hostility, a sign of some deeper internal darkness. The Etiquetteist can only wonder what that class of foul-mouth does behind the wheel.

Profanity has its place. It also has its limits. It can be funny and cathartic in small doses. But when every other word is four letters, it starts sounding like arrested development. Witness the Ryder Cup hecklers who thought screaming obscenities at Rory McIlroy qualified as banter.

There’s a line between expressive and excessive, and it’s not too hard to recognize. Even the Etiquetteist knows when to hold his tongue — most of the time. When in doubt, read the room, and draw a reference from your off-course life. If you wouldn’t say it at the dinner table, you probably shouldn’t shout it across the fairway.

Save the full-throated meltdowns for the car ride home.

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The post Should you get free relief from absurd lies? The Etiquetteist weighs in appeared first on Golf.

The post Should you get free relief from absurd lies? The Etiquetteist weighs in appeared first on Golf.

In the photo above, the lie is so preposterous, it looks like a prank. It isn’t. 

It actually occurred in a recent tournament in which a friend of the Etiquetteist was competing.

Talk about bad luck. Stripe a drive down the fairway, and your ball winds up not in a divot hole but on the divot itself.

Not fair, right? But life’s not always fair. And neither is golf. 

Sometimes, you get what you get and you’re not entitled to get upset. At least, you’re not entitled to do anything about it. The guidelines of the game make this clear. Under Rule 9.1a, a “ball at rest on the course must be played as it lies,” except when the Rules allow for relief. 

In the case of a dislodged tuft of turf, relief is not permitted.

The same is true if your ball settles in a divot. Bad lie? Too bad. Some people think that rule should change. Among them: Bernhard Langer. In a 2022 interview with GOLF.com, the Ageless One argued that “we should be dropping out of divots” because “divots are made by us.”

The former longtime broadcaster Peter Kostis takes a similar stance.

“If a sand-filled divot isn’t ground under repair,” he once said, “then I don’t know what those words mean.”

The counter-argument holds that changing the rule to allow for relief from divots would lead the game down a slippery slope. What, exactly, qualifies as a divot? On this matter, the thinking goes, certain golfers would be bound disagree. In just a matter of time, players would be seeking relief for the slightest imperfections. And from there, anarchy! 

The Etiquetteist agrees. He believes the rule should remain as is. But that doesn’t mean it should apply in every round we play.

To borrow from Bobby Jones, there is tournament golf and regular golf, and they are not at all the same. Nor should they be treated identically. In regular golf, with our friends, we should do our best to play by the rules. But when plainly ridiculous scenarios arise — like, for instance, the lie in the photo above — and there’s no need to protect the field; reason should prevail.

Might there be disagreements on what counts as ridiculous? Sure, there might. But in most cases, golfers playing in a casual match are capable of coming to a consensus. And when they can’t, they bring to the argument to the bar after the round, which is entertaining in itself.

If you’re dead-set on avoiding those types of disputes, your best bet is to establish the conditions of your match before you start. Make it explicit on the first tee that no matter what happens, no matter how absurdly bad a lie you draw, you are going to play it as it lies.

That, too, has potential benefits, as you never know what might happen next. You might wind up with a memorable story.

That’s what happened to the guy the Etiquetteist mentioned up top. Abiding by the rules, he played his approach from the loose toupee of turf and knocked it on the green from 185 yards out.

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The post Should bad golfers be banned from playing back tees? The Etiquetteist weighs in appeared first on Golf.

The post Should bad golfers be banned from playing back tees? The Etiquetteist weighs in appeared first on Golf.

Should a golf course have the right to dictate which tees you play from? The question sparked a recent debate on Reddit (and was kicked around on the Fore Play Podcast), where a user posted a picture of a sign at an unidentified course.

“If your handicap is over 15,” the sign read, “you may not use back tee.”

Interesting rule. Is it reasonable?

An old retail maxim holds that the customer is always right. But that couldn’t be more wrong. Customers make poor decisions all the time. They buy in at the bottom of pyramid schemes. They finance cars they can’t afford. They order mayonnaise on their corned beef.

If the Etiquetteist knows one thing for certain about human beings, it’s that we excel at doing the wrong thing, including taking on more golf course than we can handle. What to do about it is another matter.

Should 15-handicaps be playing from the tips? Probably not. But nor should they be banned from doing so, provided they don’t hold up play.

In this case, the right answer to a customer’s wrong decision isn’t prohibition. It’s education. Remember those adds with Jack Nicklaus and other Tour stars encouraging everyone to “tee it forward”? Messaging of that kind — that the game is more fun and varied when played from a distance suited to your game — is a more sensible approach than laying down restrictions.

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In more recent years, the industry has adopted other ways to get the word out on tee boxes. The “7-Iron Solution,” for instance, is a data-driven system from the USGA that works exactly as its name suggests: If you know how far you hit your 7-iron, the system can tell you how far back you should be playing.

Erin Hills, a multiple major-championship host site in Wisconsin, is among the many courses that have put the system into play. The guidelines are posted in the property’s caddie barn and on the starter’s shack. Other courses offer tee-box recommendations on their scorecards based on player handicaps. 

With the Ryder Cup approaching at Bethpage Black, it’s worth pointing out yet another form of persuasion: the famous sign by the 1st tee of the Black, advising golfers that the course is intended for the “highly skilled.”

That’s the kind of placard the Etiquetteist can support: buyer beware. Is it fool-proof? Absolutely not. But it’s better than a mandate. You’re a high-handicapper and you want to play the back tees? That’s a bad decision. But it’s also your business as long as you don’t bog down play. Just because the customer is often wrong doesn’t mean that retailers should regulate their behavior.

Every golfer is entitled to masochism, just as every deli patron is free to slather mayo where it doesn’t belong.

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The post I lost a bet to a sandbagger. Did I have to pay? The Etiquetteist weighs in appeared first on Golf.

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Aaron from San Diego writes: Last week, I got paired with a single at my local course. As we were limbering up by the 1st tee, he asked if I wanted to play a friendly match. He said he was “about a 7,” which is my handicap index, so I figured, OK. A few holes in, though, it was pretty clear this guy was much better than he said he was. He bombed it about 280 off the tee. I don’t think he missed a fairway, and he could putt. Bottom line: I got crushed. Our match wasn’t all that big — $10 a side — but this guy had obviously lied to me. I paid him, but could I have gotten away with calling off the bet?

Dear Aaron:

Ah, golf, the great game of honor. Except when it isn’t. Never mind what we’re often told. There is nothing inherently “honorable” about propping a ball on a peg in the ground. Enjoying a great pastime does not in itself make you an honest person. We golfers are just people. And while most of us follow the rules, some of us don’t. Any claims to the contrary — that playing the game is somehow proof of noble character — makes the Etiquetteist’s eyes roll back involuntarily in his head.

Bernie Madoff was a golfer. ‘Nuff said.

How to spot a hustler is another matter. One school of thought holds that you should never wager against a stranger with a worn-out spot on the toe of his or her trail shoe, a telltale sign, the thinking goes, of a pro-caliber move. The Etiquetteist has a simpler rule: never bet against anyone named Lee Trevino, or anyone who says that they’re “about a 7.”

Really, though, there’s know way of knowing.

All we can do is play the game with integrity and hope that others do the same.

Which brings us to your question. Based on your description, it sounds like you got sandbagged, though we can’t be certain. What we can say for sure is that a bet is a bet. No one forced you to make it. Reneging on it would have put you in the wrong. As much it as it must have stung to open your wallet to a guy who likely fooled you, it would have cost you more not to pay him. You would have broken your word, and your word is surely worth more than $30. Chalk it up to a (relatively) inexpensive lesson learned.

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The post Pro says high-handicappers could play faster doing this. Is it a good idea? appeared first on Golf.

The post Pro says high-handicappers could play faster doing this. Is it a good idea? appeared first on Golf.

Alex from Arlington, Va. writes: Ben An caused a stir on social media this week by asking why high-handicappers don’t bring an extra ball to the tee, so they don’t have to waste time going back to the cart to get another when they pump the first one out of bounds. What’s your take? Should hacks like me carry extra ammo around in our pockets to help keep up the pace?

Dear Alex:

Last the Etiquetteist checked, Ben An plays on the PGA Tour, a circuit whose competitors have for decades been the poster children for slow play, routinely taking five-plus hours to get around in threesomes while role-modeling terrible pace habits that have inevitably filtered down into the recreational game. Rather than singling out every-day chops, An might consider asking something along the lines of, Why does Patrick Cantlay shuffle-step 16 times before stroking a 2-foot putt?

But since that’s not the question he — or you — have posed, let’s get to it.

There’s little doubt that most of us, low and high-handicappers alike, could take steps to improve our pace. We could be ready to hit more often. We could take fewer practice swings. We could tell fewer bad jokes before striking our tee shots. Carrying an extra ball around might also shave a few seconds here and there. But it should not be a requirement. Not for anyone.

Golf is already 90 percent mental. Why add to the psychological burden? Stepping to the tee with an extra ball in one’s pocket is essentially an act of resignation, and something of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Consciously or subconsciously, you are signaling to yourself — and the world — that you expect to duck-hook your first one into the trees. And so you do. No golfer, regardless of handicap, should be forced to suffer through such a sad and self-destructive ritual.

The good news is, it’s easy to avoid. As part of its modernization of the Rules of Golf, the USGA has implemented a local rule — meant mostly for recreational play — that allows for a stroke-and-distance option. Instead of teeing up another ball, just head out to the point where you think your first shot went missing, find the nearest fairway edge, drop and play on with a two-stroke penalty. No need to go back to your cart to reload.

Better yet, if you’re healthy enough to do it, don’t take a cart. Walk and carry, so that if you decide to reload, a second ball is always within easy reach. Do it quickly enough, and no one will likely notice. Unless you do it on every tee. In which case, you might be better off spending five-plus hours on the practice range instead.

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The post Can A.I. help golfers with golf etiquette? We found out appeared first on Golf.

The post Can A.I. help golfers with golf etiquette? We found out appeared first on Golf.

Techno-alarmists keep insisting that robots are going to make us all redundant. Sounds scary. But The Etiquetteist isn’t worried about his job. 

Smart as they may be, machines lack emotional intelligence. They can’t read people, or sort through the complexities of personal relationships, which makes them useless when it comes to laying ground rules for on-course comportment.

Right? To test the hypothesis, The Etiquetteist turned to that A.I. know-it-all, ChatGPT, for golf etiquette advice.

The Etiquetteist: Last week, I caught my playing partner cheating. What’s should I have done?

ChatGPT: Address it calmly. If you felt comfortable, bringing it up in the moment might have been helpful. A calm, direct approach can lead to a more productive conversation.

T.E.: Calm? I was livid!

ChatGPT: That makes total sense! It’s completely normal to feel livid when you catch someone cheating — especially in a game where integrity matters. If you find yourself in a similar situation again, you might consider taking a breath.

T.E.: You mean, I shouldn’t have snapped his putter and thrown his ball into the lake?

ChatGPT: Haha, I guess that’s one way to make your point! But yeah, snapping his putter and tossing his ball into the lake might be a bit over the top. 😅

T.E.: I don’t like that you’re responding to me with childish emojis. It feels like you’re making light of the situation.

ChatGPT: I understand, and I apologize if it seemed like I was making light of the situation. Cheating in a game like golf, especially with a friend, can feel like a serious betrayal, and your reaction — though intense — came from a place of genuine frustration.

T.E.: You know I was just messing with you, right?

ChatGPT: Ah, got it! You had me there for a second. Well played! Now that we’re on the same page, did the snapping-the-putter part actually happen, or was that just for effect?

T.E.: It really happened. Do I have to buy him a new one?

ChatGPT: Since you actually snapped his putter, it would be the right thing to at least offer to replace it. It doesn’t mean you’re excusing the cheating — it just shows that you’re taking responsibility for your part of the incident. You could say something like, “I still stand by how upset I was about the cheating, but I overreacted by breaking your putter. Let me replace it.” Have you talked to him about the situation since then?

T.E.: Only briefly. When I snapped his putter, the broken shaft fell and left a mark in the green, at which point we had an argument over who should repair it. I told him it was his job. He disagreed.

ChatGPT: That sounds like quite the scene. Technically, it’s your responsibility to repair any damage you caused to the course, including the mark left on the green. While his cheating sparked the situation, the physical damage falls on you.

T.E.: The “scene” we made also slowed down play, which I realize is a problem. How long should it take to play 18?

GhatGPT: The ideal time to play 18 holes of golf generally falls between 4 and 4.5 hours for a group of four players. However, the pace can vary based on factors like course layout, difficulty, number of players, and how busy the course is. On a less crowded course or for experienced players, it might be closer to 3.5 hours, while slower rounds could take up to 5 hours.

T.E: Slow golf drives me crazy. How do you get a sluggish playing partner to pick up the pace?

GhatGPT: Dealing with a slow-playing partner can be tricky, especially if you want to maintain a positive atmosphere while keeping the game moving. Some ways to handle it tactfully include leading by example and encouraging ready golf.

Lifestyle

T.E.: You’d think a caddie might help improve pace as well. But in my experience, taking a caddie often slows things down, as it leads to long discussions before every shot with players who can’t execute very precisely anyway.

GhatGPT: You’re absolutely right. Caddies can be a double-edged sword. While a good caddie can speed things up by providing quick advice, finding balls and keep the player organized, in some cases they unintentionally slow the game down. For may amateur golfers, having a caddie might encourage overthinking rather than simplifying decisions.

T.E.: Caddies are like golfers, I guess. There are good ones and bad ones. Given all the variance, what do you suggest for a caddie tip?

GhatGPT: Tipping a caddie typically depends on the type of service provided, the course and local customs. But here are some general guidelines. $40 to $60 for an 18-hole round is considered a standard tip for a caddie carrying one bag. If you’re at a high-end or prestigious course, tips can go up to $80 to $100 or more.

T.E.: I should have gone into caddying instead of journalism.

ChatGPT: Caddying can definitely be lucrative, especially at top courses or for well-heeled golfers! That said, journalism has it own rewards, like shaping public discourse, telling important stories and even influencing change. Plus, fewer early morning spent lugging heavy bags around!

T.E.: Mostly what I’m carrying around now is the memory of my playing partner, cheating on the course.

ChatGPT: Have you considered how you’d handle things if you ever find yourself in a similar situation again?

T.E.: I was thinking I’d snap his driver, too.

ChatGPT: Snapping one club was already a bold statement, but going after his driver might take things to a whole new level — probably not in a way that would help the situation . . . Plus, replacing both putter and a driver could get expensive! It seems like this person really pushed your buttons. Do you think you’ll be able to play with them again, or is the damage (to both the equipment and the relationship) done?

T.E.: I think we’re done. I need a new playing partner. What are you doing Friday?

ChatGPT: I’d love to step in, but sadly, I’m better at taking about golf than actually playing it!

T.E.: And here I was assuming that you were a soulless ‘bot with zero understanding of golf or the human condition. Turns out you’re a wise, old soul. Would you like to write a weekly golf Etiquette column?

ChatGPT: A weekly etiquette column sounds like a fun idea. If you ever decide to put that column together, I’d be happy to help brainstorm topics or advice!

T.E.: [Sighs]

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The post 8 ways South Korean golf course etiquette differs from the U.S. appeared first on Golf.

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In South Korea’s capital city you can barely walk a block without running into a neon-lit driving range or a jam-packed simulator joint. Golf etiquette, too, is unlike what you’ll experience in the U.S. Below are eight big differences.

The Etiquetteist: South Korea Edition

No. 1: At the country’s high-end golf courses, caddies are de rigueur and, generally, female. Four bags are strapped along the back of a large cart, which carries all four golfers and typically stays on the cart path. Your caddie runs back and forth to retrieve whatever clubs you and your playing partners need.

No. 2: In most cases, it’s mandatory to book a foursome, and if you can only muster three players, you still pay for four.

No. 3: Caddies are often quite animated, and they genuinely cheer you on. They celebrate birdies, sometimes by placing a gold star on your scorecard, sometimes by attaching small, inexpensive charms — a butterfly, maybe, or a heart — to your driver headcover.

No. 4: Wagering is standard — sometimes only for caddie fees, but not many matches are played for pride or score alone.

No. 5: Between nines, there’s a customary 20- to 30-minute break for a light sit-down lunch and (usually) a beer. It’s not the prolonged mid-round meal you find in Japan, but it’s not a quick turn either.

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No. 6: Jumping ahead of a group is pretty much forbidden, even if they lag at the turn.

No. 7: At one ultra-high-end course, eagles are commemorated with a personalized certificate, which is presented mere minutes after putting out on 18.

No. 8: While birdies and eagles are justly celebrated, holes in one will cost you. More than post-round drinks are on the line; elaborate meals and perhaps even a night on the town are as well.

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The post At a private club, should I feel obligated to have my shoes cleaned? | The Etiquetteist appeared first on Golf.

The post At a private club, should I feel obligated to have my shoes cleaned? | The Etiquetteist appeared first on Golf.

Dan from Maine asks:

As a guest at a high-end private course, should I feel obligated to let the clubhouse attendant clean my shoes? On the one hand, I don’t want to add to their workload. But I also don’t want to offend them by not allowing them to do their job. Personally, I’d be fine not having my shoes cleaned. But I want to make sure I’m not, um, stepping on any toes.

Dear Dan:

Just as great power comes with great responsibility, playing as a guest at a fancy private club comes with all kinds of pesky questions, such as how you should dress (psst, skip the cargo shorts!); what kind of thank-you gift you should get your host (how about a nice bottle of wine?); and whether you shoulder order the club sandwich or the crab bisque (hint: the club sandwich is the safer bet). 

Fortunately, your shoe-cleaning question shouldn’t add to your stress.

Before we get to the answer, a bit of context. Most private clubs offer an array of an extras, from club storage and comfort stations to valet parking, and, yes, shoe shines. Very often, the costs of these services are folded into monthly membership dues. At many of these same clubs, tipping for these services is forbidden. The perks are part of the swanky package, there to be enjoyed by members and their guests.

Should you feel obligated to use them?

Obligated is a funny word. The Etiquetteist wouldn’t go so far as to say that you’re required to get your shoes cleaned. But he’d recommend it. You might as well. After all, what’s the harm? The worst that could happen is that you’ll leave the club looking spiffier than you did when you arrived. In the best case scenario, you’ll be allowed to tip the attendant for their effort. Handing out a nice gratuity creates good feelings all around. 

As for feeling bad about adding to their workload, that’s ridiculous. It is, as you note, their job, and there’s nothing undignified about it.

If you still find yourself waffling over the decision, a good rule of thumb is to follow your host’s lead. To clean or not to clean? Whatever they opt for, you can comfortably do the same.

Beyond that, there’s no need to give your shoes a second thought.

To be safe, though, you probably shouldn’t change them in the parking lot.

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The post My playing partner asked to ride in my cart. Could I have said no? | The Etiquetteist appeared first on Golf.

The post My playing partner asked to ride in my cart. Could I have said no? | The Etiquetteist appeared first on Golf.

Dustin from Provo, Utah, writes:

I went out as a single in a cart the other day and got paired with a walker who, after a few holes, asked if he could ride with me instead. I didn’t really want him in the cart — I like riding solo, and I’d just met the guy — but I felt put on the spot so I said yes. What’s the etiquette around that kind of request, and would it have been okay for me to just say ‘no’?

Dear Dustin:

While picking up a passenger on the course isn’t quite as risky as stopping for a hitchhiker outside a prison, it is not without its perils. There’s always the chance you’ll wind up with an unsavory character in the shotgun seat.

The first questions the Etiquetteist would ask is whether the course you were playing charged a cart fee and whether your playing partner offered to chip in. If the answers are “yes” and “no,” respectively, then your unwanted passenger was out of line. He wanted the comfort and ease of a buggy without having to pay his fair share. While that’s understandable — who doesn’t like a freebie? — it doesn’t make it right. He should have at least offered to share the costs with you.

Stinginess aside, there’s also the strangeness of the timing. As most golfers know, it is not unheard of to start a round on foot only to have a change of heart when the weather shifts or fatigue sets in or the course turns out to be a real-estate monstrosity with mile-long hikes from one hole to the next. In those instances, which tend to occur late in rounds, it is perfectly acceptable to ask for a ride and usually in everyone’s best interest that the request be granted, whether because you’re trying to stay dry or chasing daylight or struggling the keep the pace.

But that was not the type of scenario you described. Your playing partner made an intimate request, early in the round, before you’d gotten a chance to know him, and he wasn’t especially polite about it. It was an awkward ask, and — to answer your Nancy Reagan question — you would have been well within your rights to say no, in as diplomatic a manner as you could muster.

And yet, because rejecting his ask would like have only added to the awkwardness, the Etiquetteist believes that you did the right thing in obliging him. It was the least painful option and, perhaps, a good reminder: Don’t stop for hitchhikers outside prisons, and, whenever possible, walk don’t ride.

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The post Should weekend hackers use AimPoint? The Etiquetteist gives his read appeared first on Golf.

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Lincoln from Oakland, Calif., writes: 

I was recently paired with two 15-handicappers who used the AimPoint method to read the greens all day. Not only did they look ridiculous and slow down play but they also failed to make a single putt outside of about two feet. In short: bad golfers with bad etiquette. In my opinion, ordinary duffers have no business using AimPoint and should be laughed (or driven) off the course if they do. Thoughts?

Dear Lincoln:

Like automotive stunts in sports-car commercials, PGA Tour broadcasts should probably come with a warning: don’t try this at home.

But they don’t, and so here we are. Like plumb-bobbing before it, AimPoint has seeped, by way of imitation, from the elite ranks into the recreational game.

Should we push back against this trend?

While the Etiquetteist sympathizes with your gripe about slow play — any on-course conduct that bogs down pace unnecessarily is best discouraged — that alone is not an argument for banning AimPoint. The method, after all, as fussy-looking as it is (what with the line-straddling, finger-pointing and eye-closing) doesn’t have to bring a round to a grinding halt, provided the person using it plays ready golf and gets as many of those time-consuming pre-shot rituals out of the way as possible while their partners are putting.

That’s a big if, of course.

An even bigger if is whether those rituals will actually lead to lower scores. Probably not, the Etiquetteist suspects. Most people can’t hang a picture straight without a level, much less feel one percent of slope with their feet. The idea that a method as subtle and involved as AimPoint stands to benefit the average duffer strikes the Etiquetteist as overly optimistic, at best.

Then again, the Etiquetteist is not a golf instructor. And even if most golfers have no more business using AimPoint than they have flying a rocket ship, that’s not a justification for banning the method, either. In the Etiquetteist’s ideal world, ordinary duffers wouldn’t bother with the method. They would get a simple read from the behind the ball, and then step up and yank their five-foot bogey try. But it’s also not the Etiquetteist’s place to dictate what people do for their pre-shot routines.

As long as they are keeping up the pace, anyone and everyone has the right to use AimPoint, no matter how unhelpful it may be. That’s the bad news. The good news is, the rest of us have the right to poke fun at them for three-putting with it.

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