AUGUSTA, Ga. — The gnome — the $65 white-bearded Augusta Gnome, this year holding a green-and-white umbrella — is having a breakthrough Masters. The word has spread across the Augusta National campus that this year may be the gnome’s last in the tournament merchandise tent. Fans are reporting that the daily allotment (about 750 per day) of the sad-eyed, cherubic-cheeked figure are selling out by 8:30 a.m. In the pursuit of the gnome, there has been no indecorous behavior, but there has been an actual disappointment for those going home empty-handed.
Gnome fever has become so intense that the club’s chairman, Fred Ridley, was asked about it at his Wednesday morning state-of-the-Masters press conference. The exchange went thusly:
Reporter: “I apologize in advance if this question appears somewhat trivial, but from speaking to a number of patrons this week, I can assure you it’s a talking point. There’s a rumor circulating this could be the final year of the now iconic Masters gnome. Are you able to quash that rumor and allay fears?
Ridley: Number one, the question is not trivial. Number two, I’ve been asking that question for several years and they won’t tell me the answer. So I can’t help you.
The gnomes’ futures market was rattled, as the marketplace likes predictability and despises uncertainty.
Gnome awareness is so high that it has reached the club’s second-floor locker room for past winners. The gent who guards its entranceway bears more than a passing resemblance to the Augusta gnome: same white beard, same cherubic face, same seen-it-all blue eyes. A player, a former champ, actually asked this swinging door fixture if he was the model for the Augusta gnome.
Of course, Augusta being Augusta, the most essential facts about this gnome are unknown. The model for it. Its production numbers. Its future.
“I’ve been asking that question for several years and they won’t tell me the answer.”
The chairman of the Augusta National Golf Club does not know the future of the beloved Augusta gnome. It’s both troubling, telling and revealing. The Augusta gnome is a life force onto itself.
Michael Bamberger welcomes your comments at Michael.Bamberger@Golf.com
